Chronic Fatigue Syndrome

Usually manifesting itself in overworked, underappreciated laborers shortly before the onset of a "postal" episode, wherein the afforementioned worker will have an unforeseen, suprisingly volitile, emotionally-driven outburst. It has been hypothesised that the worker will attempt to conceal their feelings, perhaps indicated by the instinct to wear army-surplus camoflage clothing, thereby "disguising" their intentions.

While the habitual donning of hunters hats and other non-military camoflage gear may seem to indicate the onset of chronic fatigue syndrome, it does not. This is a completely different kind of medical condition known as "Red-neck." Scientific studies have confirmed that only military apparel is indicative of a subject suffering from chronic fatigue syndrome.

When confronted with the necessity of dealing with someone who consistently wears army-surplus gear, ask yourself a few simple questions to determine whether they are a threat to you and/or your workplace:

Question	Response	Conclusion / Action
How does subject respond to a salute?	Returns salute	CAUTION! Unless you work on a military base, subject most likely either is military member assigned to recruit new members, or is in the final stages of chronic fatigue syndrome. EDGE AWAY SLOWLY.
	Does not return salute	DANGER! Subject is either disgruntled worker or poorly trained military. RUN AWAY!
Does subject exhibit contra-indication of "Red-neck" symptoms?	Yes, wears hunters hat with ear flaps, drives pick-up truck	CAUTION! Subject may be highly volitle and in possession of a rifle, avoid mentioning any sports tems or preference of beer brands.
	No, carries grenades, wears dog-tags.	DANGER! Who the hell wears grenades in public? RUN FAR, FAR AWAY.
Has subject exhibited symptoms such as listlessness, poor dietary habits, and anger / disgust during company meetings?	No, subject appears otherwise normal.	Attempt to ascertain whether the subject has simply run out of laundry. Occasionally symptoms of chronic fatigue syndrome may actually be byproducts of a busy lifestyle.
	Yes, subject seems disgruntled and / or unhappy.	This describes the majority of the workforce in North America. Cross-reference with other questions to ascertain danger level.
These questions are to be used as a diagnostic tool only. Any attempt to confront, alter, or otherwise interfere with a subject suffering from chronic fatigue syndrome is ill-advised and risky.

Sarcasta is so very, very tired.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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